Fitness: The Nipple Vest

Do you ever worry what you look like at the gym? As most gyms have walls of mirrors you can’t help but see what you look like whilst working out. In my mind, this naturally leads to worry about looking like an idiot.

I used to deal with this by wearing baggier clothes to the gym – such as an oversized t-shirt that would hide as much as possible. But overtime, as I gained confidence I now generally opt for some kind of vest with capris. It’s much cooler and I feel a bit more co-ordinated. Since I’m at the gym fairly often – I want to wear things that I feel good in.

I do wonder though whether people take this a bit too far, and what exactly they must be thinking.

I’ve already documented some of my gym musings in my post on Gym Goddess and of course, my beloved Dancing Man. However, another who cannot help but catch my attention is Nipple Vest.

Nipple Vest actually falls into the hipster camp. He has a groomed beard and is successfully fit without falling into the camp of scary. He obviously works out but still has what we could legitimately consider a layer of comfort.

I have to wonder why then he persists in wearing a nipple vest.

By nipple vest, I mean a garment that is missing the sides so that the front is narrow enough to simple cover the area between the nipples. Leaving them showing on each size. It’s the type of clothing that you would’ve seen WWF wrestlers wear – or maybe even someone on that 90s show Gladiators.

When someone hugely built to all proportions wears one – you hardly notice the vest because of the muscles. Your attention goes to the bulging arms and chest bursting forth. When your average Joe wears one – ALL you notice are the nipples.

So I wonder what on earth would possess someone to wear such a thing.

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On the one hand, it’s an expression of confidence. It’s saying – I don’t care what you think, I’m going to bare my nips to the world. I feel like it’s this bold statement that he’s comfortable in his body and quite at home in the gym.

I imagine that maybe he has this really boring job where he feels stuffed into a suit. The gym is that time he can set himself free. I have this theory that he keeps him gym life entirely private from him colleagues, friends and family so he can just go for it.

But on the other hand – is that really a statement you would want to make? I’ve never thought my gym experience would be improved by wearing a garment like that. It may well be a gender thing but I obviously prefer everything to be held in a little more! Is it really good to be known purely for your nips?

I will say one thing for the vest though. He’s not been wearing it recently and I barely recognise him. In fact, upon spying him attempting to chat up Gym Goddess I wondered who the beardy guy was who chancing his luck. Nipple vests are certainly memorable, and definitely a way to be recognised. There aren’t many ways to achieve that at the gym.

Lots of people wear bright colours now. Skin tight gym wear is pretty much a given rather than being weird. You still have random old guys who come in wearing white socks pulled up as a high as possible. What can you possibly to do make a statement other than don the nipple vest?!

You certainly don’t want to the ‘The Boxer’… but that’s a topic for another day!

 

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2 Comments

  1. July 25, 2017 / 7:49 am

    Oh my goodness, we have this guy in the gym I go to! Although more concerningly, my builders clearly fall in to this camp as well – no hipster beards but the nipple vests are in full swing. I just don’t see the point – go topless or put a proper top on! Clearly I’m showing my age!

    • July 25, 2017 / 8:53 pm

      That’s hilarious! I’m sure I wouldn’t mind as much if they were mega buff but seriously – the majority are in my room 101!

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