How many of you go to the gym and people watch?
I find that my mind wonders to all kinds of places at the gym. Sometimes I think about the day I’ve just had, or my to-do list. Occasionally I may actually focus on what I’m doing at that moment. But more often than not, I’m looking at the people around me and imagining who they might be.
Naturally, if you go to the gym often enough you begin to spot different ‘characters.’ People with individual quirks that make them stand out. They might have particular mannerisms or outfits that catch your attention. But one way or another, you begin to look out for them and in my world, begin to think about who they might be.
One of my personal favourites is Gym Goddess. She’s the woman I want to be – tall, slim, toned, perfect bum, perfect posture. But whilst I admire her and want to look like her… I also envy her.
Gym Goddess just seems to possess the utterly unattainable. She seems to be everything that I am not and to an extent I’m jealous. GG doesn’t need countless gym outfits or coordinating bra/Capri combos – she is just a vision of perfection. She doesn’t look like an idiot doing exercises as she just seems to float.
To be fair to GG, she works damn hard. It is rare to not see her in the early evening at the gym. I usually work out for an hour but she is there before I am and will inevitably still be going when I leave. She’s also not doing any of this half-hearted watching TV whilst on the cross trainer malarkey. She’s doing box jumps, lifting large, and making those muscle-bound, vest wearing, shiny boys look like beginners.
That’s not to say that GG has man arms. She is in perfect proportion. Or she wouldn’t be a goddess.
Of course, in my haze of jealously I’ve begun to wonder about GG. What must her life consist of to actually achieve that body? I’ve been developing this theory recently to help me work through my envy – probably to the extent that I need help, but go with me…
Today I was at the gym feeling a little bit like Poppin’ Fresh. You know that dough man who is on the pastry adverts? I felt like that. A big puffy, wobbly thing, completely lacking in vitality. In short – the opposite of GG.
I was laying on a bench struggling to lift a simple weight imagining what Gym Goddess’ morning would be:
She would have risen at 5am, totally refreshed. She would put her eye mask on her bedside table and head to the fridge for a glass of cucumber infused water.
Her yoga mat would already be placed out ready for some sun worshipping, downward dog, Thai chi, cosmic centring type behaviour. There would be no distraction or wailing children for her – she would be self aware with every meditative breath she took.
I have in my head that a true GG would have an outdoor shower but in Edinburgh that might be a bit unrealistic. But Goddess blatantly has a wet room complete with hanging eucalyptus. It would be heavenly.
Breakfast would undeniably be a kale smoothie. It wouldn’t contain any fruit or sweeteners. She’s hardcore. It would be pure kale. Maybe mixed with water blessed by the Dalai Lama.
Gym Goddess is the woman who has it all. She obviously has a job given her gym hours but I feel it would be something that ‘gives back’. Events seems too corporate. I’m thinking about something in the charity or health industry. But academic. GG has a brain – no one could get a body like that without fore thought and planning.
Morning break would be a wheat grass shot mixed with aloe vera. There would be no gagging or effort not to be sick. She finds it satisfying and have no longing for cake or caffeine.
Lunch would be raw salmon and green vegetables. There would be no need for an afternoon snack as GG doesn’t ever have dips in energy. She would power through the afternoon ready for her evening gym session. After gaining that perfect sheen – not sweat – just a gentle glistening layer, gym goddess floats home for an evening of laying on concrete with cucumber slices over her eyes. Whilst listening to whales.
One day I’ll be her… just maybe with less Kale and more Starbucks!